Trigger Warnings: Some flashing lights, mild language
I’m going to be honest – when I started watching this, I was expecting so much better. I mean, come on, Rob Zombie wrote, directed, and produced it, so you’d expect it to be at least a little scary, gross, or at very least, heavy on sex or profanity. The Munsters was none of this. In fact, it has a PG rating, which tells me that for whatever reason, Rob Zombie was trying to keep this one toned down.
Now I don’t know if it was because in order to use The Munsters franchise for the movie he had to keep it relatively clean1There is no actual sexual content in the movie and the couple of curse words are actually bleeped out. or because he was actively attempting to make a movie that kids could watch, but for me, it just didn’t work. Not because of the lack of scary, gross, sexual content, or profanity. No, not because of that.
There were two reasons I wasn’t impressed with this movie. The first one was Sheri Moon Zombie. Now I’ve seen multiple of Rob Zombie’s movies and Sheri is amazing in Halloween and Halloween II, House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects, and 3 From Hell. But those are all straight up horror movies. And while her IMDB profile shows she’s been in a few non-horror things, I think she’s so used to her husband’s movies being horror that she wasn’t sure how to properly act in this movie. Her acting is stiff and isn’t nearly up to her usual caliber of performance.
The second reason was the way the movie is written – which could possibly be informing Sheri Moon Zombie’s acting. The inane jokes and absolute amount of corniness that was present in the movie just made me cringe. Rob Zombie is amazing at writing horror movies – not so much at writing movies that would be aimed more at kids. I’m sure he wrote the movie script because of a love for The Munsters – I mean, why would you write a movie script for a franchise that no one has touched for years unless you really love it – but honestly, I don’t think he’s really suited for non-horror writing. I love you Rob, but please stick with what you know.
Now, if I were several years younger than I am – say pre-teen, early teens – I might have loved this movie. I might not have noticed how corny and stupid it was or how poor Sheri’s performance was. But alas, I am older and I did notice, so this one got one star from me. I don’t ever see myself watching it again.